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| My answer is … a drum roll please … if I stall long enough it will come to me … yes—and yes. Yes, I should sometimes show gratitude even when I don’t feel it. I should at least recount my blessings. I should at least take stock of my situation from a different angle. I should at least retell the story—my story, the story of God’s rescuing me, time and time again. The story of the cross. But yes, I should also, sometimes, refuse to put on the happy face. Why? Because that’s false religion. Because it’s not honest. Because that’s not how life is. I should complain to God, because the psalms complain to God and because the world isn’t right, and no amount of denial and happy words are going to change that. Somehow I must be real with God—grumbling, complaining, saying how it really is. But at the very same time, I must realize that I can’t see the whole picture. The picture that includes my sin. The picture that includes God’s rescue. Sometimes I can’t see the grace hiding under the bed and peeking in through the window. Do I always know when to do what? No. But I’m getting wiser. I’m listening to the Spirit more. Ironically, when my gratitude comes in the midst of deep sorrow, it is the most meaningful. And the very act of praise itself begins to transform the darkness into light. At other times, I catch myself in denial. The healing doesn’t come from gratitude but from an honest cry of pain. We live in the midst of pain and joy. We live in the midst of pain and joy. Continued... |
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